Wednesday, March 9, 2011

The Kamran Fakmal Bashing Brigade

What is Kamran Akmal's favourite pick up line? "Can I drop you somewhere?"

Kamran Akmal is such a bad wicket keeper, he can't even catch a flu. Not even if he stood naked in sub zero temperatures in Siberia!

What do Kamran Akmal and Michael Jackson have in common? Both wear gloves for no apparent reason.

In pin drop silence, guess who drops the pin? Kamran Akmal!

Kamran Akmal is every robber's dream, because he will never be able to catch them.

Why did Kamran Akmal have to walk back to the team hotel after the match? Because he failed to catch the bus!

Maybe Kamran Akmal would have been a better wicket keeper if his hands were as big as his teeth.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind Ross Taylor, there is Kamran Akmal.

Why is Umar Akmal the best batsman in the Akmal family? Because he got the most chance to bat in the back yard as Kamran Akmal kept dropping him.

What do Kamran Akmal and a funnel have in common? Both let things through easily.

Its time to drop Kamran Akmal, just so he knows how the ball feels.

If Kamran Akmal was a South American footballer, his mistakes would have cost him his life by now.

It's Ross Taylor's birthday! Shoaib Akhtar delivered the cake, Abdul Razzaq the candles, and Kamran Akmal blew them.

Kamran Akmal will make a very good footballer because he will never be required to use his hands to catch the ball.

Why do parents trust their daughters with Kamran Akmal? Because they know he will always drop them home.

Ever wondered how the third best wicket keeper in the Akmal family is the first choice wicket keeper in the country?

If a movie were to be made starring Kamran Akmal, it title would be "The one who dropped the ball".

What is the one thing that Kamran Akmal is really good at? Clapping! Because he's always eager to put his hands together before the ball reaches him.

And to conclude...

Naara-e-Awam da... Zardari to baad, Kamran Akmal haraam da!

Make your pitch on this post...

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24 Pitched:

  1. NS said...

    Hilarious yet completely true..

  2. Anonymous said...

    Excellent, so hilarious yet ironic. I hope somebody pulls a "South American footballer" on him. That's the only way we will get rid of him.

  3. straight point said...


    q... hope you remember we discussing kamran wicketkeeping long time ago when i argued that he is not worth in the place as wicket keeper and you insisted he worth it coz of his batting?

    wonder what your opinion is now... and before answering me... i shudder to think what if that was a quarter final match...

  4. Anonymous said...

    Why we lost yesterday to new zealand. It is clear and simple.

    Just two mistakes:-

    We gave away too many runs because of the following reasons:
    1. Kamran Akmal dropped four catches.
    2. Poor captaincy by Afridi. By giving two overs to Gul just before the batting power play and exposing Rehman in the last overs.

    Poor Batting:
    Our team considered 303 invincible. They entered for batting without any game plan and were totally nervous. Even when last man went out, we were ahead in run rate. If played a little sensible, we might have still lost but not with 110 runs.

    There is serious flaws with the seniors and management, who have no brains. No one told them that 303 was very much chaseable.

    Drop Kamran and let umar akmal do the keeping. This will never happen. Unfortunately our top order failed for the fourth time. We need to change it too.
    Second, bring one more specialist bowler, we are definitely short of one.
    Third, miandad should be the coach. Only he or Moin khan are the strategists we need.

    Sixth Sense.
    It looks like we will be four in our group, and paying India in the QF. Who knows?? Just guessing J

  5. Anonymous said...

    Ass hole, fuck you, they write through blood come out from own ass. his ass has noting to do so that come here to fuck his ass on internet. its so easy to say but when you come to the ground then ass become swing like a ball.

    Kamran Fakmal (Kami)

  6. Q said...

    SP, I remember that discussion very well.. and I remember how I defended Kamran Akmal.. my reasoning back then was the match winning innings he had played.. I don't support him any more now because he hasn't played a match winning innings in a long time..

    Had he scored a 100 last night, I would not have a problem with the drops because his 100 wud probably hav taken Pak to a win.

    Didn't happen and hasn't happened in a long time. Time for him to go.

  7. Soulberry said...

    Used to be a big fan of his till as late as the 2007 tour of England. came across as an unaffected, honest lad with talent and great humility. While it matters little to us what he has chosen to drop from his public persona, it is sad to see how much he has dropped from his primary cricketing skills set.

  8. 12th Man said...

    As much as I could laugh at Kamran being the butt of jokes, it is disappointing when one person's fault costs you a match.

    Has he done anything at all to improve his wicketkeeping?

  9. 12th Man said...

    As a side note, if Kamran Akmal was captain, would he drop himself?

  10. Q said...

    He'll never be captain.. I dont know any captain who would drop themselves.

  11. Asad Mustafa said...

    hillarious bro!

  12. Anonymous said...

    kamran akmal dropped his balls somwhere too, he can't be in a mens' team, he is a LADY!!!

  13. sana said...

    dude, you were arguing for keeping him in the team for his batting as late as last summer's tour of england. which was after several century-less months after sydney. what's changed? :)

    anyway, glad to see you've come around.


  14. Anonymous said...

    hes fine...he was havin a bad day...stop HATIN NIGGAS

  15. Q said...

    Sana, since the England summer a lot has changed...

    He's been under the spot fixing scanner.. there's been speculation about him / Akmals being behind Zulqarnain's disappearance.. plus I've seen Zulqarnain, Adnan Akmal, and Umar Akmal keep since then and also bat...

    The fact that there are other keepers around who can also play match winning / match saving innings is a major reason for me changing my stance.. and another reason is the fact that I now believe that his inclusion in the side has more to do with some unknown external forces than his cricketing skills...

  16. Anonymous said...

    The only balls Kamran hasn't dropped are between his legs

  17. Anonymous said...

    Akmal., I guess latest pakistani player to be indulged in match fixing..wait..he does not need to do match fixing for dropping those sitters...he has an inborn talent of dropping catches :@

  18. Anonymous said...

    O Man kuch khood bhi Sharam karo Aur Pakistan per Reham karo aur agar izzat dar ho tu khod he team say nikal jao aur agar begairat ho datee rahoo munna bhai
    Naeem Ahmed

    Visit and join us

  19. Anonymous said...

    plz visit and join us and click on like

  20. Mo H. said...

    Why did Kamran Akmal miss the bus to the World Cup 2011 Semi Final? Because he didn't wake up in time to ca....he was axed from the team

  21. 3nigma said...

    awsome man

  22. Anonymous said...

    thats not fair at all.... don't target some one like Pakistani....others are enough to ruin us....

  23. Anonymous said...

    Yu all are such an idiot..
    just notice when he drops the catches..
    not when he is so fast and makes the best players outt..
    it was just a bad dayyy!!

  24. Anonymous said...

    Kamran Akmal's ABC

    A for Akmal
    B for Ball
    C for Catch
    D for Drop

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