The 4 Axed Australians - The Butt of all Jokes
What hit Australian cricket in the past few days, only Arthur and Clarke know, but it is by far the stupidest, funniest, and strangest reason given for banning 4 players from the 3rd test of the series against India. The fact that the 4 players - Watson, Pattinson, Johnson, and Khawaja - were axed because they failed to turn in a presentation in time to Mickey Arthur, Australia's coach, has become a global colossal joke.
Here is a compilation of all the quotes, jokes, and pics that I have come across regarding this once-in-a-lifetime kind of story.
“What I am confused by is that the coach of
Australia asked the players for only 3 things to improve the team by” – Michael Vaughan
“So Australia has drawn a line in the sand.
An important first move for any beach cricket team” – RD Hinds
“We need to hire
Ijaz Butt again. The Aussies are taking the limelight away from us” – A bemused Pakistan fan
"I'm surprised that's the penalty for
something so mundane. It seems like it was on a schoolboy tour or something.
It's an over the top reaction." - Allan Border
“That awkward
moment when Australia become Pakistan” – Alternative
Cricket
"From my
experience report writing is not a player's strength, no surprise to hear some
failing, need to focus more on field short comings?" - Tom Moody
“Shane Watson
did not submit his presentation because he did not want to risk injury through
a papercut” – An Australian Fan
"Adults
we are, not schoolboys! Please let's act properly and make good decisions in
India! Need these boys playing." - Darren Lehmann
"To many
wrong people are picked for jobs who give a fancy presentation!!" - Damien Martyn
"What is
going on with Aussie Cricket?? Didn't realise you had to do an essay to get a
selection these days..!!!!!" - Michael
Vaughan
“The Australians are looking to hire a
PowerPoint Coach. Applications are to be submitted in the next 5 days via SMS,
Email, PPT, or Note Under the Door to Mickey Arthur” – Well Pitched
“Asking Shane Watson to write a 100 words
was unfair. He only averages 35” – Fake Richie
Benaud
"To
punish players for not being able to produce a PowerPoint presentation is
baffling. They just haven't done their homework and to punish them is ridiculous.
They have not been out until four in the morning, they have not been jumping
off ferries or putting hands through doors." - Matthew Hoggard
“The dig ate my homework excuse was refuted
by Cricket Australia on the grounds that, allegedly, Michael Clarke does not
eat paper” – Mansi Shah
"'If you want feedback listen to
Hendrix's Star Spangled Banner. I'm off to the nets' - things the Dog Ate My
Homework 4 wished they'd said..." - Mark Butcher
"Mickey Arthur: 'This is a line in the
sand.' It's called a crease. Behind it are are three poles: they're called
stumps ... #laughingstock" - Greg
Baum
"I want views of Chappelli, DK Lillee
and Rod Marsh on punishments for not doing homework. This feels like a seminal
moment in Aus manliness." - Osman
Samiuddin
“Will Arthur allow the 4 to play if their
parents wrote apology notes and promised that they will ground the 4 for a
week?” – Hemant Buch
“Pakistan players are now worried that they
might be asked for a 50 page report about how they can improve their test
performance” – Well Pitched
"On a
positive note Ed Cowans presentation has just been nominated for a Nobel Peace
Prize" - Damien Fleming
“Off for a round of golf. David Lloyd is my
partner playing against a couple of posh uns. Done my homework so should get selected" - Michael Vaughan
“David Warner copied his homework from Ed
Cowan” – Alternative Cricket
"John
Inverarity was my high school headmaster. Not once did he threaten to drop me
for not doing homework during my 5 years at Hale. #Legend" - Theo Doropoulos
"Even
bigger story @scgmacgill I'm batting 5 next test !!! iPad charged up PowerPoint
done" - Damien Martyn
“I bet Australian fans were hoping that
Xavier Doherty had also failed to comply with team orders” – Alternative Cricket
“I know Mickey Arthur is African, but must
he act like Robert Mugabe?” – Fake Richie
Benaud
“Shane Watson flies back
to Australia and vows to enroll in a presentation skills course to make his way
back into the team” – Well Pitched
"Bowl
better, Bat better, Catch better, communicate better... Just bloody play better....
I am now available for Selection of Australia..!!!!!" - Michael Vaughan
"Amazing
4 Aussie players banned for not doing homework , I thought letting them play in
the next test would be punishment enough #3-0india" - Andrew Flintoff
"Not
really up on modern text speak, but gather that ROFL might be
appropriate…" - Jonathan Agnew
“Australian cricket fans can rest easy
tonight knowing the best XI powerpointers will be representing them in the 3rd
test” – Fake Richie Benaud
"At least
NZ'ers get in trouble for having some proper fun (read: not fun, against team
protocols, naughty boys) No homework, ha" - Iain O'Brien
"Kiwis learning Mike Hesson not such a
bad option after all...." – Innobystander
"The only
thing that would explain Mickey Arthur is if Ashton Kutcher jumped out of a
locker with a camera crew. #punk'dthemovie" – Scotty Cummins
"Reasons
for dropping Test cricketers: 1. Texting a South African, 2. Not texting a
South African." – Tickers Cricket
"Four Australians axed from the next
Test for lack of texting. This must be very confusing for poor Kevin
Pietersen." - Pavilion Opinion
"Oh, so that's what the fifth day of a
Test is for? The paperwork." – Will Anderson
"For
those asking about my test team. J K Rowling is not injured but rather being
rested as part of our ongoing rotation policy" – Special Grant
"In Shane Watson's defence one other
time he filled out paperwork and got a paper-cut and missed six months of
cricket." - Bretteppa
"A rare
day when a patient Test 190 by Ashraful is the 2nd most unbelievable event in
the Test world" – Sriram S
“I
can confirm that the 4 players banned did in fact do a presentation. “Change
the coach” appears to be a theme that wasn’t the right answer” – Fake Richie Benaud
Sources: Cricinfo, Twitter, Sydney Morning Herald, The Australian, BBC, Daily Times
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lost badly In India :)