Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Additions to the Faculty

INTERNAL MEMO

To: Students and Readers

18t June 2008

Dear all,

As the Co-Founder of the Allen Stanford University for Cricket Bloggers, I have continued to recruit new faculty members since our launch in response to the growing demand for quality cricket education and entertainment.

Though the new recruits have been brought on board over the last few months, I haven't been able to formally introduce them to you.

What better day to make the introductions than the one on which the Co-Founder & Dean of our University celebrates his 1000th lecture. Congratulations Uncle J!

Our first new facutly members since the launch were DS Henry, Scorpicity, and Trideep.

DS was hired as the exclusive lecturer for "Marketing & 20-20 Cricket Leagues", while Scorpicity and Trideep joined Straight Point as lecturers on "Reporting on Indian Cricket".

The ever growing Indian cricket industry required us to continue the hiring process for this subject as demand from students was unmatched by any other subject. This led to the recent hirings of Som and Samir Chopra.

In between we also recruited our 2nd female member as Miriam of Cricket with Balls joined us as the professor on "Fashion in Cricket". Her first few lectures were on Daniel Vettori's glasses and Jacob Oram's garments from 'Big & Tall'. Her most recent lecture that generated a lot of interest was on Kevin Pieterson's ability to switch (between male and female clothing).

One of our most recent recruit is The Cricket3r who joined us in the Administration of the University and takes care of collating all information and data regarding the faculty members as well as the students. He knows all of us, but none of us know who he is. Not even his name.

At the beginning of this month, we recruited Sledgehammer who joined the Well Pitched crew to alternate on lectures on "How to Manage Cricket in Pakistan".

The growing mismanagement in Pakistan cricket led us to hire some more faculty members to lecture on several areas such as "Selecting a Squad - How Not to do it the Pakistan Way" and "Running a Cricket Board - How Not to do it the Pakistan Way".

Wasim was hired for the former, while Khansahab for the latter.

I officially welcome you to our elite faculty and thank you for the immense popularity we have achieved since our launch.

I am sure that going forward, the Allen Stanford University for Cricket Bloggers will continue to grow and match your expectations in educating and entertaining you with all things Cricket.

Yours faithfully,

Q
Co-Founder, Allen Stanford University for Cricket Bloggers.

Make your pitch on this post...



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14 Pitched:

  1. Homer said...
     

    As the Dean of the Allen Stanford University, it is my pleasure to welcome the new faculty to the campus.

    As noted in your contracts, you will earn $1 million a day if the students like the content and presentation of your class for the day.

    Otherwise, you earn nothing.

    Good luck!

  2. Q said...
     

    Homer, u will only become dean once Uncle J gets caught chanelling those funds into his cult ;-).. till then u r associate dean.

    The contracts u have prepared stand though.

  3. Straight Point said...
     

    what about us mortals :(

  4. Q said...
     

    What abt u SP? U are one of the original faculty members of the university :-) among the first recruits.. check the original post.

  5. Straight Point said...
     

    i meant in terms of $1 million...

    my $wi$$ account need $ome dollor$ mate ;) :(

  6. Miss Field said...
     

    Didn't I previously recruit Miriam to coach the cricket team... or something?

    Anyway, welcome y'all, the party's at mine.

  7. Leg Break said...
     

    MF,

    You've got to earn hosting rights yet :)

  8. Q said...
     

    SP, contact the dean's office :-)

  9. Q said...
     

    MF - yes u did but Miriam wasn't an official cricket blogger at that time. Since she has become one we have decided to give her a permanent role at the University.

    She can still continue to coach the team though.

  10. Q said...
     

    MF / LB - I believe the hosting rights should be with the Dean celebrating his 1000th lecture. He's already started his march towards the next 1,000.

    MF - u should host the Island's party ;-)

  11. Miss Field said...
     

    I did host the Island's party Q, but you were comatose from the previous night's drinking, so you didn't attend. I'm not surprised you don't remember.

    So, LB, what must I do to earn hosting rights eh?

  12. scorpicity said...
     

    I object Dean Homer... as part of the promised contract, we were supposed to have Mallika sherawat as the peon, mandira bedi to dust the board clean with her dusters and Michael clarke with his school unform minus his trousers to ring the bell.

    None of which has been fulfilled.

  13. Q said...
     

    Next time MF :-/

  14. Q said...
     

    Scorps - I'll make sure ur demands are fulfilled very soon ;-)

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