I'm sure many would have guessed it when the news 1st broke that a pacer from the subcontinent had been tested positive during the random drugs tests that were conducted by WADA during the Indian Premier League.

It has been confirmed now.

2nd offence, life ban.

Or is it the 3rd?

It doesn't matter anymore.

He was caught with opium in his wallet at the Dubai airport on his way back from India after taking part in the IPL.

Opium is a drug that is on the list of prohibitive items of WADA.

We still don't know whether it was opium that he was tested positive for.

Whatever it was, it doesn't matter anymore.

The career of Pakistan's most promising fast bowler since Wasim & Waqar is over even before it took off.

I'm too disappointed to say anything more.

As a result the 30 probables that were to be announced today will also not be announced till tomorrow.

There's no saving Asif from this.

No way!

Shoaib Akhtar, who did not get banned for late nights before a match morning, who did not get banned for testing positive for a banned drug, who did not get banned for hitting his team mate with a bat, but got banned for publicly critcizing the PCB, and is now waiting for a ruling from the Lahore High Court on his appeal to overturn the ban, has been...

Included in Pakistan's 30 probables for the Champions Trophy to be held in September.

Mohammad Asif, who did not get banned for testing positive for a banned drug, who remained sidelined due to elbow problems for over 6 months, who played the IPL with less than 100% fitness with his elbow in a brace, who got arrested and then let off after being caught red handed with opium in his wallet at the Dubai airport, who is all set to appear before a PCB 3-man committee for the dubai-drug act, has been...

Included in Pakistan's 30 probables for the Champions Trophy to be held in September.

Good News?

Great News!!!

Pakistan will actually have a REAL bowling attack for once.

Well ofcourse given that these 2 don't break down, hit each other, get caught with drugs in their bladders, or get caught conspiring to bomb the PCB between now and September.

It was the last Champions Trophy, 2 years ago, when Shoaib & Asif flew back to Pakistan because PCB's internal doping test results had shown traces of nandronolone in both the pacers samples.

Since then, both Shoaib & Asif have gone through a very rough period, and neither has featured regularly for Pakistan.

Doubts on their participation in this year's Champions Trophy still remain though.

Shoaib's 18-month ban has been suspended by the Lahore High Court, pending a ruling on his appeal.

While Asif is going to face PCB's 3-man committee who will question his drug smuggling act in Dubai.

However, given that the Chief Selector, Sallu Sahab, has announced that Shoaib and Asif will be included in the 30 probables to be announced tomorrow, I have reason to believe that the courts, committees, PCB, and all authorities concerned are yet again going to let the 2 pacers off scot-free one last time.

Champions Trophy '06 to Champions Trophy '08 - quite a full circle that is, not with smooth edges though. Its been a bumpy ride for them both!

First it was a 5-year ban.

Then came the appeal and the PCB famous 3-man appellate committee.

The decision took so long that an appeal to suspend the ban was filed.

The committee accepted that and allowed Shoaib to play in the IPL with a 1-month suspension.

The IPL finished and the committee gave its decision - not 5 years but an 18-month ban.

Shoaib was disappointed.

He filed another appeal.

And now the Lahore High Court has suspended the ban pending decision.

So technically Shoaib is allowed to play till the court reaches a decision.

When will the court reach a decision is anybody's guess, but it all seems too convenient to suspend the ban when Pakistan does not have any matches lined up till September's Champions Trophy.

Just before the decision to suspend the ban was given, the judge hearing Shoaib's case had this to say:

“all of us want to see you back in action.”

Anybody wants to guess what the court's ruling will be then?

"How many diamonds can you retrieve from one single mine; there has to be an end somewhere. I don't see any natural fast bowler after me."

Shoaib Akhtar being his arrogant self.

Sadly he's right.

He can do something about this though. He can start producing!!

Here, I recommend some potential partners whom Shoaib can tie up with in order to retrieve that diamond he's talking about.

1. Rakhi Sawant

Proposal Description: Appear on reality singing and dancing show as a pair, win it, and propose on stage.

Pairing Description: Most dramatic couple ever.

Diamond Description: Dramaybaaz, ugly, big, and voluptuous. Big head, big eyes, big lips, big hips, big arms, big thighs, big legs, big...... Will surely make all the headlines. Will bowl as fast as he speaks, and speak before he thinks. A bigger drama queen than the parents.

2. Soha Ali Khan

Proposal Description: Use big brother Shahrukh Khan to approach his good friend Saif Ali Khan.

Pairing Description: Beauty & the Beast.

Diamond Description: Aristrocratic, long nosed, brown and fairly built. Will have cricket in his blood from daddy and grand daddy, will be a fast bowler and a decent enough batsman who will turn to bollywood on retirement.

3. Kareena Kapoor

Proposal Description: Use big brother Shahrukh Khan to approach his good friend Saif Ali Khan.

Pairing Description: Wild Thyngs.

Diamond Description: Punjab da Puttar, big eyes, big chin, chubby cheeks, and short. Will probably be known as a Kapoor rather than an Akhtar. Will start out on the fat side and then go on a strict veggie / yoga regime to turn to size zero and then retire as a chubby old man. Definitely a punjabi fast bowler.

4. Bipasha Basu

Proposal Description: Beat John Abraham, Dino Morea, and Christiano Ronaldo in a modeling competition with the winner walking away with Bipasha.

Pairing Description: Black Beauties.

Diamond Description: Kolkata Knight Rider, dark, round, voluptuous, and a fish eater. Will be Bengal's favorite son and the fastest bowler to come out of that region ever. Ganguly will be his idol, Aryan Khan his favorite bollywood hero, and Kim Mukherjee the favorite bollywood actress.

5. Katrina Kaif

Proposal Description: Beat Salman Khan in a body building contest and bowl Katrina over.

Pairing Description: Bold & the Beautiful.

Diamond Description: Prim and proper, tall, good looking, wierd nose, and a body builder. Will be a confused English / Desi soul who will start of as a medium pacer and than become a fast bowler. Will spend summers in England playing county cricket and speak of eggs and bacon as his secret to success.

If Shoaib Akhtar mends his pot smoking, vodka drinking, and coke snorting ways, he may be healthy enough 25 years down the line to actually watch Akhtar Jr. fire deliveries at Mohammad Ashraful & Co.

It looks like Mohammad Asif is already contemplating a different career path.

In his most recent communication with the media, Asif mentioned that if he is banned by the PCB, he will pursue a career in football.

Yes football.

What are the rules on drugs in football again?

I think Asif has a bigger plan. There's a master plan behind this speak.

The master plan that I am talking about involves the Football World Champions - Italy.

Asif has hired some underworld agents and sent them to Austria and Switzerland to abduct the Italian Goalkeeper Gianluigi Buffon.

Once the abduction has taken place, Buffon will be transported to Attock Jail in Peshawar and no one will see him again.

Or they will.

The master plan involves Mohammad Asif going through a slight makeover with blue contact lenses and light hair-dye and taking buffon's place with the Italian football team.

The Italian mafia may be strong, but Pakistan's is stronger.

Asif, sitting in a Dubai jail, is calling the shots and the master plan has been put into action.

The PCB banned Shoaib Akhtar, Nasim Ashraf gave a press conference, Shoaib gave an interview to GEO, Hamid Mir disclosed off-camera talk, Shoaib confirmed off-camera talk on other TV channels, and now it has all come back to bite Shoaib on his back side!

To read about what has happened over the last few days since this war started, read here, here, and here.

Had Shoaib remained quiet after the ban, seemed apologetic for his indisciplinary acts, and filed an appeal, maybe, just maybe, he could have gotten away with it. He has filed an appeal and the PCB is setting up an appellate tribunal to her it out but I highly doubt Shoaib would be listened to this time round.

His vindictive interviews to the media regarding match fixin, former cricketers, the PCB, and Nasim Ashraf have completely back fired.

1. The ICC have stated that the ACU is going to question Shoaib - this is going to get him or others into serious trouble. In order to keep intact whatever little integrity he has left, he cannot go back on what he has said. If he speaks the truth and is able to give some sort of evidence, it could potentially shake up cricket in Pakistan, India, and South Africa.
   
2. The IPL have disallowed Shoaib from playing for the Kolkata Knight Riders - Lalit Modi said that since the IPL was looking for global acceptance they had to follow international guidelines, thus it would be wrong of them to allow a player banned by a home board to play in their league. Fair enough, but there could be more to this. Ottayan has pointed out that it was the BCCI that requested the ICC to question Shoaib regarding his claims of being approached by bookies in India. This could have triggered the BCCI barring Shoaib from the IPL.
   
3. Nasim Ashraf and the PCB have filed a defamation case against Shoaib - a lawsuit demanding millions of dollars in compensation for making derogatory comments about the PCB and Nasim Ashraf has been filed by the PCB. If he cannot provide evidence against Nasim Ashraf and his "fee cuts", Shoaib is going to be poorer by some $3 million! Plus I doubt the tribunal will reverse the ban following these statements.


4. The ICL looks out of the options list - Shoaib publicly spoke about slapping Inzamam and Moin Khan who are the captain and coach of the Lahore Badshahs respectively. Playing for the Lahoriyas is out of the question now. He could play for some other ICL team but then Moin Kan is the agent for Pakistani players taking part in the ICL and I believe he will put in all efforts to keep Shoaib out of it.

What now for Shoaib? I think he has bowled his final delivery in all forms of cricket.

Bollywood and Rakhi Sawant look like the more realistic option.

Shoaib Akhtar appeared on Capital Talk on GEO TV last night.

Before I go on to disclosing what he said on and off camera, let me brief you on GEO TV, Capital Talk, and its host Hamid Mir.

GEO is a privately owned Pakistani television channel based and telecasted out of Dubai Media City. The onwers are also the owners of Pakistan's most widely read newspapers - Jang and The News. There are a number of talk shows aired on GEO and majority of them have the reputation of being anti-establishment. Capital Talk is one of them and Hamid Mir usually bounces on every opportunity to criticize the Government. At times rightly so, at times maybe not.

Back to Shoaib Akhtar.

The show was aired last evening and Shoaib Akhtar talked about how he has been victimized by the PCB and criticized Nasim Ashraf and the PCB of having double standards and personal vendettas against him. He said a number of other things, the key ones being:

• He said that the PCB had no right to ban him since he is not a contracted player and thus the PCB laws do not apply to him.
  
• He questioned Nasim Ashraf's eligibility to be PCB Chairman since he was a US citizen and not a Pakistani one.
  
• He blamed President Pervez Musharraf of nepotism saying that Nasimn Ashraf was chairman only because he was the president's friend.
  
• He brought up the match fixing issue mentioning that those players who were involved didn't get any bans and yet he was being banned.
  
• He also talked about instances where he was offered money to under perform yet refused to do so - he mentioned Johannesburg and India as the 2 places where he was offered money.
  
• He reminded everyone of the times when he played for Pakistan despite being injured or not fully fit because the team management demanded it.

Shoaib spoke about all this on camera. But what happened off it is what I think is going to start a war within Pakistan cricket!

Once the show ended, Star News ran a story on Shoaib Akhtar. They gave their views on him and reported about the ban and the reactions associated with it. Half an hour or so into the program the reporter contacted Hamid Mir via telephone.

Hamid Mir mentioned that he had just interviewed Shoaib Akhtar and spoke about the above mentioned points. As the Star News reporter probed further into Shoaib's criticism of Nasim Ashraf and the match fixing comment, Hamid Mir opened up and said that Shoaib Akhtar had made a number of glaring revelations off camera.

According Hamid Mir these were:

• Pakistani, South African, Indian, and Australian cricketers are all involved in match fixing.
  
• Shoaib Akhtar has been offered money to throw matches by cricketers from all these countries and in all these countries.
  
• Shoaib Akhtar slapped Moin Khan and Inzamam Ul Haq on 2 separate occasions inside the dressing room when they offered money to him to under perform.
  
• Briefcases full of money have been left in Shoaib's hotel rooms in South Africa and India by players from SA, Ind, and Pakistan to throw matches.

For Pakistani readers these stories have been heard of before but only partly - Shoaib getting into a spat with Moin Khan or Shoaib and Inzamam having arguements in the dressing room are commonly known facts but there were never any concrete stories as to why the spats took place. According to Hamid Mir, Shoaib Akhtar came clean on those incidents.

But even that is not what I think will shake Pakistan cricket. It is what Shoaib Akhtar said about Nasim Ashraf.

Hamid Mir told Star News that Shoaib Akhtar told him that he has always given a share of his match fees to Nasim Ashraf. Not only from matches played for Pakistan but also from those played for counties, World XIs, Asian XIs, etc. He also mentioned:

• The PCB Chairman demands a cut of the fees earned by all players representing Pakistan - whether is is their match fee for playing for Pakistan or their county contract.
  
• The latest cuts that are to be paid to Nasim Ashraf are those from the IPL contracts.
  
• All Pakistan players give a share to Nasim Ashraf to play for Pakistan.

After disclosing all this, Hamid Mir said that Shoaib told him that if his ban is not overturned he will go to court and go public with proof on all these allegations on Nasim Ashraf and the cricketers involved in match fixing.

Concluding his tele conversation with Star News, Hamid Mir signed off by saying that the PCB did not have any just reason for banning Shoaib and he thought that it had happened because of Shoaib treating Nasim Ashraf the same way he had treated former captains Moin Khan and Inzamam Ul Haq - i.e. with a slap.

In Hamid Mir's words: "ho sakta hai Shoaib ne Nasim Ashraf saahab ko bhi apne haath ka maza chakhaya hoga kabhi".

It could be a result of sour grapes on the part of Shoaib Akhtar or it could be a case of political motives on part of Hamid Mir but the kind of facts that have been disclosed, whether true, false, or exaggerated, are bound to shake up Pakistan cricket.

Shoaib has a case on his hands - against the PCB, against the cricketers, and against the man that banned him, Nasim Ashraf.

He claims he has proof of match fixing, nepotism, and demand of shares from players' fees.

He has threatened to go public with all these facts and proof.

Pakistan's newly elected Prime Minister Yousuf Raza Gilani has already passed on his request to the PCB to overturn the ban.

A lot has already happened within 36 hours of the announcement of the ban.

I sense a lot more is in store. The War has just started and I believe it will end in a reinstated Shoaib Akhtar and a sacked Nasim Ashraf.